On the self-development ride? Thinking of getting on that roller coaster to see what all the fuss is about? Well, I’ve been on for over 25 years and it’s quite a thing. What to try, where to go, who to read, how does this work, what the heck is happening…..??!?!? Been there, going back later today.
I’ve been searching for what I truly want to say to you. I’m a teacher and I can go into conceptual theory, which is fine, but it’s not exactly what you may be here for. I’m writing a book (or two or three), if you want the teachy part, buy the book. But here, online? Let’s dive in to what actually is happening on a day to day with someone who is up to their ass in the alligators of self-help.
What is it like to take the hard look at yourself, to feel all the feels, and to do the work on yourself? It can suck. It can feel like you’re poking out your own eyes with a twisty wine bottle opener. And those are the good days. It can get hard, but there’s a bigger purpose: life looking and running like you truly want it to go.
What’s it like to have your life flow, be fun, exciting, joyful, and look exactly like you want? So friggin’ good you can’t even. Over-the-top delicious. Dreamy + Fabulous + Wonderful = All at once. So worth every alligator and every eye poke. I promise.
I’ll jump into both. I’d love to hear from you in the comments or on social media. You don’t have to go through any of this alone, self-development is a lot more fun and a lot more efficient together.
Welcome to the roller coaster.
Wednesday I had a bout with the Fraud Police. I got an offer to do a speaking gig that I'm THRILLED about for an organization I ADORE. I was asked to submit some materials for the selection committee, no problem. Then I got panicky. What if they don't like me? Did I...read more
I think the urge to do self-development comes from the continual reach towards being the best person one can be. To span the gap between who I am now and who I say I want to be. I don’t want to move through life without awareness, without seeing the results of who I’m...read more
I have a client who loves Jazz. LOVES. He is filled with his love for the music and the musicians. He can hear a few notes and tell you who it is and about everything about their history. It’s mind-blowing, the amount this man knows and is willing to teach me, the...read more
I love to take on BIG projects that require a lot of time, focus, energy, and creativity. I’m inspired by the idea and have a passion for starting things. The challenge is I get stymied at some point and then, as soon as it feels challenging, the running commentary...read more
Last Friday I took a spill on the ice leaving my office. I whacked the back of my head soundly and ended up with a cranky jaw and neck to accompany the goose egg on the back of my cranium. As I lay on the icy concrete, assessing the potential damage, part of me went...read more
There's a lot of talk these days in the culture about "bleeding hearts" and "snowflakes", disparaging the idea that love and kindness is a weakness. It is not. Being willing to love, being open to the vulnerability of connection, being able to show compassion and...read more
I’m a workaholic. It’s ruined relationships, friendships, health, fun, and peace of mind. At the same time, I’m passionate about what I do and would be perfectly happy doing nothing else. This is not a comfortable place to live, especially when I’d really like to...read more
Today I went into a new gas station. Pretty typical station, snacks and drinks, smokes and mags. “Good Afternoon!” a voice sprang out from one of the rows. A short, dark haired man shot up from the aisle, only visible from the nose up above the chip bags. “I hope you...read more
Here in Wisconsin, we count on a lot of snow. I can remember the first time I saw snow getting removed from the city streets in Madison. My brain couldn’t compute what was actually happening, that there would be so much snow they would need a front end loader and a...read more
It’s amazing how anxiety can knock you on your ass. I spent most of my 20’s not realizing what was going on and my 30’s pretending that I didn’t have anxiety so that I could be the cool girl/cool girlfriend type. That all stopped in my mid 30’s when I had an anxiety...read more
This weekend one of my teachers said: “If you want to be a writer, you have to have an open heart.” My first thought was “well, shit, I’m screwed.” I’m a stoic. I love people, I think they are extraordinary and I’m passionate about them having lives they love. But I...read more
The last couple of years I’ve been working hard, overworking would be an understatement. I push myself harder than anyone else could and I’m particularly hard on myself on top of that. I’ve continued to go well beyond healthy limits and hadn’t considered stopping or...read more
Shit. What a week it’s been. It’s the week of the US 2016 election and it didn’t go well for those of us who care about everyone and are committed to respect of all humans. I’ve spent the days buoying others, being support to clients, family, friends, students,...read more
I've actually started writing my first book. I've stop/started for years and finally on the horse. I'm seeing that it's scary and feels vulnerable to say it out loud, to post it here. Once I put it here, you'll expect it. My arse on the line. What have you always...read more
Self-soothing. This term came up in a health & wellness course I’m taking. Self-soothing has to do with taking care of yourself, nurturing, and providing comfort to yourself. The question was: what do you do to calm yourself when you are upset? My first...read more
When I was in the 4th grade something happened in the classroom that made the kids laugh. The girl sitting next to me had a big, loud laugh with her mouth open and head back. I remember thinking she looked like a fool. Like a horse on an old TV show laughing at the...read more